The more I read about or watch Jennifer Lawrence, the more I wish she had been around when I was 15.

At 15, I arrived at that awkward “filling out” stage that all girls go through. I had always been skinny, and suddenly I found myself battling with extra weight that refused to budge. Plus, I had always had chubby cheeks, even while skinny, and while they had once been cute, they soon became embarrassing.

I hated it and didn’t know what to do.

I had always been physically active, and at this time was running about five miles a day for cross country. I started dieting, or at least trying to eat healthier, although even that backfired. I went through one of my first phases of vegetarianism, which basically for a high school kid meant eating a lot of carbs or nothing at all. Plus, my long day meant I went 8 hours at a time without eating or drinking anything. So the three meals I did get I usually ate as if I were being sent to the electric chair. This is why I think allowing snack time would actually curb childhood obesity.

So anyway, I carried a few extra pounds but was still very much within the healthy range. I exercised, I ate healthy foods, even if I ate too much of them, and could still run a mile well below the required time for a girl my age.

I just felt fat. And the media didn’t help.

Those were the years of Calista Flockhart and Kate Moss. Kate Winslet, another idol of mine, was around because of Titanic, but she wasn’t as prominent as the other two at the time, or Jennifer Lawrence today. Otherwise, I might have heard the message that both Jennifer and Kate consciously and subconsciously give young girls.

Healthy is beautiful.

Not being a size 2 with razor sharp cheekbones, unless that’s your natural size. Not living off of bananas and rice cakes. But being healthy.

I wish that message came across more often. I feel like too often in society we focus on telling girls one extreme or another. Skinny is beautiful. Curvy is beautiful.

How about, wherever you are at your healthiest is beautiful?

I have gone all over the scale in my life. For years I battled with extra pounds. When I turned twenty-five, a combination of things led me to lose a significant amount of weight, so I was constantly being told to gain. But even then I wasn’t at my healthiest. I wasn’t eating well and hardly exercised at all, and I certainly wouldn’t say I was happier. After many years, I feel I finally found a place where I can be happy with the way I look. I eat my vegetables, get more protein, exercise a few days a week, and let myself have an occasional cookie, and can look at myself in a mirror and smile. I’m no Victoria’s Secret model, but I’m okay with that.